I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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