like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
the gays at disneyland are vicious
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
