I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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