Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
