i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
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