everyone is single if you try hard enough
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
two words...techno handjob
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
FUCK WHALES
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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