Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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