I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
