I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
