you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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