she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Randomize
