I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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