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• (847): View more from Illinois

  this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone

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• (406): View more from Montana

  she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Internet Is back!

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  Dude, running 15 min late.

  (1-636): View more from Missouri

  Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.

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