that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
a search helicopter?!
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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