pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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