i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
