Its about making memories worth repressing
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
