discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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