Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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