omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
