Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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