saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize