I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
