She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
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