Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
