how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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