I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
