Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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