We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
