Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..

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(305): View more from Florida

Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.

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(905): View more from Ontario

MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.

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(231): View more from Michigan

Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins

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(225): View more from Louisiana

If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.

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(703): View more from Virginia

Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me

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(514): View more from Quebec

bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.

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(205): View more from Alabama

We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten

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(801): View more from Utah

Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...

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