It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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