I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
