Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
