I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize