i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize