Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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