I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Quick, to the slutcave!
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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