I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
