So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
