kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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