your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
