end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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