this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
