When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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