Having a random hookup so left but love u
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
