areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I am spending my child support on dildos
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
