the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
