Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
