i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
