he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
