Even the bartender felt bad for me
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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