Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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