Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
And my parents said I crawled through the house
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
