just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
