I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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