I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
