only you would photoshop your dick
My ATM looks so different sober.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize