The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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