Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize