I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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