my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
