so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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