dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
