We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
