I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
