party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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