God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize