ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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