Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
worst night to have a conscience
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
