According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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