me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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