As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
