Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Nicole vs. Life
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
