Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
