it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
