I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
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