If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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