You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
