Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
