i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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